I Achieved The unachievable

How To Get 40 Likes On A Postr

// HOW TO GET 40 LIKES ON A POST

Hi. You probably know me from my post that got 40 likes. Yes, you heard that correctly. 40

I have achieved 40 likes. Not 39. Not 41. 40. This is a precise number and I have studied it. You have not. So listen carefully. In this article, I give it all away, the mindset, the exact time you have to wake up on the day you plan on achieving greatness.

// THE MORNING ROUTINE

Wake up at 4:47 AM. Not 4:45. Not 4:50. Not 2:17 or 1:62, 4:47. This is the optimal time for neural alignment with the algorhythm. Allow me to explain why: The data is proprietary.

Drink 19 ounces of water that has been sitting in a copper vessel for exactly 6 hours. The copper ions attune your bioelectric field to the frequency of engagement. This in fact, is a science. Science is still catching up to this. It will.

Do not check your phone after you check your phone, this is important, mess this up, no 40 likes. The algorhythm slowly begins to smell desperation. Wait 23 minutes, while staring at your left thumb. During this time, stare at a wall and think about brownies, from the movie Willow, not the snack you fat ass.

// THE MACADOODLE PROTOCOL

You cannot post without first internalizing the essence of the macadoodle cookie.. The Vanilla, the chocolate chips with red velvet peanut butter. The sugar. The way the edges crack while the center stays soft. This is a metaphor. I am not going to explain it.

Make the cookies. Do not eat them. Don’t even smell them. Here is the recipe: Place them on a plate near your workstation. The presence of uneaten baked goods creates a field of potential energy at the sub-molecular level that translates directly into digital engagement. I have tested this. 3 times. The control group (no cookies) received 12 likes. The experimental group (cookies present) received 40. The cookies were not consumed in either scenario. Consumption breaks the spell. Magic moves the algorhythm.

// THE SOUNDTRACK TO SUCKCESS

You must listen to specific frequencies while drafting. I recommend:

• The sound of a single lawnmower three blocks away

• 1997 Toyota Camry engine idling (YouTube has this)

• “Careless Whisper” by George Michael, but only the saxophone intro, on repeat, slowed to 0.75x speed

• A podcast about Roman aqueducts hosted by a man with a slight lisp. No lisp, no likes.

Do not listen to music with lyrics. Lyrics compete with your thoughts for bandwidth. The algorhythm detects this competition and deprioritizes your content. It knows.

// THE DRAFTING PROCESS

Open ClaudeGPT. put in this prompt exactly as its written here: 1.

Stand while you write it. Sitting is for poor people who want 15 likes. You want 40. Stand.

Type with your index fingers only. This slows you down enough to let the divine inspiration filter through. Touch typing is for efficiency. Art requires friction. I know, my name is Art.

Every third sentence must contain a word that starts with the letter “M.” This creates a subliminal pattern of nuclear fusion that the human eye misses but the engagement colloquies recognizes. I have not confirmed this with Substack, They don’t return my calls. They will not return my emails.

// THE CONTENT ITS-ELF

Say something profound but also obvious. The sweet spot is a statement that makes people nod while also making them slightly uncomfortable about how much they nodded.

Example: “Water, its more than just a drink, its a liquid.”

This works because it sounds like wisdom while being completely unactionable. People share unactionable wisdom because it lets them feel like they’re distributing value without having to actually do anything.

// THE TIMING

Post at 7:33 AM PST on a Tuesday morning. I know I told you to wake up at 4:47. The 3 hours and forty-six minutes between the time are for staring at the door knob. This shift is essential. Confidence is the enemy of virality. The algorhythm favors the slightly unhinged.

Do not post on weekends. Weekends are for family and farmers markets. Plus, the algorhythm rests on weekends. It’s unionized.

// AFTER POSTING

Start by reading my Book on long division.

Call the 27th person on your contacts list. If you’re like me, and don’t have 34 contacts, call the last contact.

When you finally check, do not refresh. Eat a macadoodle cookie, Get on Twxxer and post a 4 twits about Enter The Dragon. It’s a movie where Bruce Leroy fights Busta Rhymes. shits dope. Each refresh resets a counter. I have no evidence of this but I feel it in my bones and my bones have never lied to me except that one time about the milk being still good.

// THE 40TH LIKE

Theres is no feeling quite like geting 40 likes. You don’t that feeling yet, but I do.

Someone will be the 40th like. This person is special. They do not know they are special. Do not tell them. The power lies in the anonymity. To get 40 likes, you first have to get 39 likes. That’s not math, that’s calculus

When you hit 40, stop. Do not pursue 41. 41 is hubris. 40 is perfection. 39 is failure. 41 is greed. Stay in the 40. Become the 40. Let the 40 become you.

// CONCLUSION

You now have everything you need. The cookies. The music. The stance. The specific numerical superstitions that I have presented as strategy.

Will this work for you? I don’t know. It worked for me. Once. I have tried it three other times and received 11, 23, and 7 likes respectively.

I’m famous. I’ve helped singles of creators get hundreds of likes.

Trust me, I’m always right sometimes

Come dit the nonsense with me.

//END OF TRANSMISSION